“If the only prayer you ever say is Thank You, that will be enough.” – Meister Eckhart
Another year is almost gone with good and bad, ups and downs – part of life, isn’t it? It’s time for a brand new year soon – a time when it is common to translate our hopes, wants and dreams into new year resolutions. That is great and, by staying engaged and committed, keeping a positive vision of whatever we want to achieve, we move forward. They say the future belongs to those who can see it coming, and I believe that is true. A dream without action is nothing but a dream.
However, I am here to highlight a mistake I used to do repeatedly in the past. Each time I was stepping into a new year, I used to jump into making fresh plans and setting new goals for myself.
What I missed was to look back at the current year “all-inclusive,” with its whole package: the bright side of results and successes, and also with (often perceived) failure, new learning, and possible blessings in disguise.
Here are three powerful questions I am asking myself each time I am stepping into a new year:
1. What am I most proud of?
As a former perfectionist and over-achiever, I used to put myself down and minimize my accomplishments, as if “it wasn’t anything big enough or special or “anyone else could have made it.” I used to attribute my achievements to either luck, destiny, or other people who gave me infinite chances to succeed.
When we are struggling with this frustrating need for perfection, nothing seems good enough, and we are always looking for more to do, to feel happy and satisfied. And the truth is we’re never there because we would always want more.
Today, I learned to acknowledge and celebrate myself, in the same way I do it for other people. I stopped taking myself for granted or making myself small so that others would feel good around me. That is not selfish, but fair. Like everyone else, I am also a person, worthy of my appreciation, compassion, and care. That’s not about Ego or showing off. It’s all about knowing the fact that, in often cases, it’s been a lot of hard work and efforts behind my so-perceived luck.
If you tend to take yourself for granted, I am inviting you to a short time of reflection on the following:
Take a pen, a piece of paper and list down your thoughts.
My main accomplishments of this year are:
I am most proud of:
I acknowledge myself for:
Remember, it doesn’t have to be big, like saving someone’s life. No matter how small, put it on your list. It could be new skills you acquired, a transformation in you, developing new habits, moving into a new house, helping someone else or yourself, getting out from your comfort zone, or making changes that had a positive impact on your life. List everything down, related to both personal life and career.
And once you have made your list, it’s time to celebrate. Do something special for yourself, pamper yourself with something you enjoy. Buy yourself something nice. Treat yourself with a massage. Do whatever makes you feel good. Just so; because you want to, and because you are worth it.
2. What is my learning?
Years ago, I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis, which usually comes along with infertility issues. I got surgery in South Korea, which was a success. I knew the surgeon worked on my physical body, and my emotional and mental body was my job to clean. My wish was to be healthy and enjoy this beautiful gift called life.
I have never wanted to have children by pressure, to please other people (make my parents happy) or tick a societal-imposed box around what the role of a woman should be. In my life, I am the one making the rules.
I have never considered having children to keep my tank full of joy and fulfillment. Babies are independent spirits, born to learn and grow, not souls I would ever possess. I trusted the flow of life and let it decide if I was going to be a mother or not. And here I am, a happy (and sometimes tired) mother at age 41. I had no clue motherhood was going to be a full-time job. Raising a child has been incredibly fulfilling and hard.
I choose to believe we live in a supportive Universe where everything happens for my highest good. I learned to stop asking for what I want and, instead, start asking for what I need. Life wanted me to be a mother and a tiny, delicate human being is going to need my support.
I am grateful for everything I’ve gotten in life: for the miracle our baby girl is. For a loving husband, a loving family, great friends (not many, but true ones). For a healthy body and a healthy mind. For the home I live in, nice vacations I can afford, for doing the work I love and believe in. Dear Universe, for all this, I say Thank You.
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- Posted by Sara Fabian
- On December 15, 2017