“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

According to Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, 57% of men negotiate their first salary and only 7%  of women. It’s no secret that, if you are not able to negotiate your first salary, it will be very challenging afterward to catch up regarding pay.

Men generally attribute their success to themselves. Women consider themselves lucky for having someone else or other external circumstances helping them.

Men generally look at negotiation as a necessary step in the recruitment process. It is a discussion about numbers and they don’t take it on a personal level. Women’s perspective on negotiating their pay is generally different: it’s perceived as a personal conflict between themselves and the employer and some feel very uncomfortable talking money and paycheck as if money were a bad thing.

I often get to work with women striving for more confidence in negotiating their salaries or asking for a raise.

If this resonates with you, here’s what I want you to know:

It all starts with you. The key is that you have to believe in yourself and see the value you can bring to any employer you might work for. It’s not about you being “lucky” for getting a job, no matter how good that might be. It’s about being aware that, each time you get employed by someone, it’s a win-win situation.

Trust me; no one would get you hired just because they like your smile. It’s all about the value you can bring with your unique skills, abilities, gifts, and talents.

Don’t work yourself to death, hoping that, someday, you will get seen and blessed with an increase. I’ve been there in the past. It only happened once. 1% salary increase, thank you. I felt so misused (with my approval) and stupid. A zero bonus would have been more decent than the 1%.

It would be best if you learned how to ask for what you want, clearly and assertively. Because if you don’t even ask for it, the answer is No by default and there’s a tiny chance you will get it.

When you value yourself, others will appreciate you as well. You have to acknowledge the fact that, in often cases, there’s been a lot of hard work behind your “luck”. Don’t take yourself for granted.

Love,

Sara

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