In my coaching practice, I help women grow their confidence and boost their self-esteem.
Although these two terms are very similar, referring to how we feel about ourselves, they are two different concepts.
Self-confidence is related to how you feel about your abilities and how capable you see yourself of doing certain things or handling different situations.
Self-esteem refers to how you generally feel about yourself: how much you like or love yourself and the overall image you have about yourself: positive or not. Your self-esteem is shaped by your past experiences and the environment you grew up in: your family members, your school and your community.
Here are 6 warning signals of unhealthy self-esteem:
- Holding the belief that loving yourself and putting your needs first is selfish.
- Blaming your current circumstances or your past on other people (It’s their fault, Life’s not fair, People are mean, Nobody will give me anything, No one cares.)
- Having a “victim” mentality: thinking or talking like you’re a victim (How could he do that to me? You hurt me.)
- Being stuck in your comfort zone and resistant to change.
- Denial of issues that feel uncomfortable, avoidance of the truth.
- Critical and disempowering thoughts or words (I’m useless, I’m a failure, I can’t do anything right, I’m not good enough.)
You may not even be aware of these warning signs. Be honest with yourself. Get support, if needed, work with a coach you resonate with if you think that could help. We can only change the things we are aware of, and staying in denial is a trap.
Here are 12 clear signs of healthy self-esteem:
- Loving yourself as a whole person and knowing your uniqueness allows you to be YOU.
- Being authentic: living without pretending. Staying true to yourself and to what you believe in to be right.
- Not worrying excessively about what others think.
- Taking care of yourself and looking after your own needs rather than pleasing others.
- Having healthy boundaries with other people and treating yourself with dignity and respect.
- Being assertive and speaking up for yourself. Daring to say no to things you don’t want to do.
- Focusing on your life without the need to compare yourself to others.
- Being able to acknowledge and celebrate other people’s achievements.
- Being ok with spending time alone.
- Taking responsibility for the way you feel and for your actions, instead of blaming other people or your circumstances.
- Being open to change what you don’t like in your life and what is changeable.
- Believing that you are lovable and you deserve the best things life has to offer.
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- Posted by Sara Fabian
- On March 4, 2016