“Doing more won’t make you more worthy; it will make you more tired.” – Kate Northrup
Remember what they tell on a plane before you start your journey? “Put on your oxygen mask first and then put it on your children.” It’s a clear message that if we can’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be able to take care of others; if we run out of oxygen, we won’t be able to help anyone else.
Self-care is not selfish; it is, in fact, a necessity. You are also a person.
What does it mean to take care of yourself: body, mind, and soul? Here’s what it means to me:
Manage my time wisely.
If I cannot find time for myself, I make it. I am in charge of managing my precious time, and we all have 24 hours a day. Being alone for a while doesn’t mean I am not a social person or I don’t love the people around me. It is a form of reconnecting to myself, an opportunity to reflect and recharge.
Make good friends with yourself and you will never feel lonely while alone.
Take care of my body.
I give it nutritious foods and plenty of water. I make that much-needed doctor appointment and my yearly pro-active health checks. My health is important.
I take a nap when I need rest. I put my phone on silent for a while. Surprisingly, the world does not collapse.
Do things for my heart and soul.
I treat myself to a massage. I buy myself something special. I use those beautiful bed sheets instead of saving them for the guests. I wear that nice underwear I have been initially saving for a special occasion. Because I’m worth it. Just so.
Imagine you’re 70, looking back on your life. What do you want to remember? The fun you’ve had and the things you’ve learned or how well you were cleaning your house?
Set healthy boundaries.
I say no to things I don’t want to do unless there’s an emergency and I really need to do them. It’s not my job to please everyone and my needs matter. I say yes to the person, and no to the task. Saying no is not selfish and it doesn’t mean I’m rejecting the other person. If the others get disappointed, it’s all about them and their own expectations; it’s not about me.
Let go of perfectionism.
Perfection is just an illusion; it doesn’t exist. It took me a while to learn how to be okay with good enough.
I know I am not the same all the time. We all have good and bad days. There’s no room for regrets when I know I’ve done the best I knew and the best I could.
Ask for help.
I stopped pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. Honoring our struggles doesn’t make us weak. It is part of being authentic and a form of self-care.
Let go of the “do it all” mentality.
In a society that values people through how well they do things in life (based on results, goals, and achievements), most of us have forgotten what it is like to be. Everyone is in a hurry, doing something or running somewhere.
But here’s what I learned:
Doing nothing doesn’t necessarily mean I am lazy. I am not Superwoman; I am a human being who needs to recharge. As long as it comes as a choice – my own choice – doing nothing is an action!
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- Posted by Sara Fabian
- On March 4, 2016